Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Welcoming Our Babies

The last day on the monitors for me, the last full day of being pregnant with twins!
The morning of August 7th, 2013. A bittersweet moment for me. I knew I would be giving birth to two beautiful girls, but I alsowouldn't experience    pregnancy again and they would now be the ones who would struggle.

 I would be delivering via, C-section, at 34 weeks, 5 weeks premature! We had packed room while everyone waited for me to get started. It helped me keep my mind somewhat on other things.With everything lined up I was ready to get the epidural. Our family & friends left so that the Brady family could gather one last time and say a prayer. Matt put a very peaceful feeling in that room. We then kissed Kaylee & Henlee and I was wheeled down the hall to the operation room. A C-section is totally different. I laid there while all the nurses and doctors ran around getting things in order. My anesthesiologist was very kind and made sure I felt ok. I got really cold so he blew up a heat pack for me. Matt was by my side, recording and comforting me. The doctor asked if I was ready while he started the procedure! I seemed to take some time before anything happened. I laid there anxious. At 9:46 am we heard our first cry! Then she was shown to us from the side. She was small, red, and crying, she was our Braylee. One more minute later and I heard our Brynlee cry. She was whisked over to see us on the side and off they went to the NICU nurses. Just seeing them, seeing the fight they had in them, that made every minute, every hour, every day worth it! I knew it was their turn to struggle, to be poked and monitored and I ached at that very thought for them. Matt kissed me goodbye and went to be with them. I laid there, so worried about them and anxious to get this over with so I could see them more. I got to a point were I felt panicked. I told my anesthesiologist and he removed my hot air bag and let me move my arms. He may have even slipped something in my IV. It took time to finish but I was soon back in my room with my family and friends wanting to know the details and the names! I told them how it went and waited for the nurse to finish up her work to send me downstairs to Mother and Baby department. Matt came in during this time to brief us on how the girls were doing. He said that they both were on the C-pap and ventilators for breathing but doing ok. Soon after that, I was wheeled in my bed to the NICU. It's the only way to see them so early. I loved and hated this moment. To see my girls for the first time was such a blessing, to see them with all the tubes and monitors was a harsh reality. My girls were in intensive care, so little, so helpless. I wanted to be back in my room with them in my belly, semi safer. But I also knew that it was something that had to happen. My girls took my breath away, they made my heart so heavy! 
 Our first photo!
Welcome to the world
Braylee Kimberly Brady
Brynlee Elizabeth Brady

After much anticipation Matt was able to take Kaylee and Henlee to see our sweet girls! It was hard not to see this moment but we got it on video.
The grandparents followed shortly after. 
I waited & waited for the nurses to clear me to do what I wanted. I asked a nurse if I could go see them. Four hours after delivery I walked up to the NICU. I was in little pain, mostly light headed. Sitting there looking at them, made me anxious and sad. I felt warm. I didn't stay to long but didn't stay away very long either. That night was full of pumping & pain for the three of us. 

The 1st time we got to hold our babies was amazing! It was so good to know they were ok & alive! To know their life could be takin from them anytime was a very nerve racking feeling. 
We are holding Braylee for the first time in the top pics & I am holding Brynlee in the bottom right. 
I will say the NICU was a long road. It took many weeks for them to eat enough on their own. We commuted back and forth, many times a day so we could take care of our other kids as well. Henlee still attended day care so I spent time with the girls when he could attend. Nights were filled with babysitters for the older two while Matt and I went during visiting times. Letting the girls sleep, helped them grow and become stronger. So we didn't bother them to much and kept our 'distance' while there. We learned so much on how premature babies are different. So we tried to do the right thing. It was hard not be able to just pick them up and rock them, & be around them 24/7 But it's not exactly what preemies need. We like to think that them being able to leave the NICU earlier than their due date, may have been because of this...

My girls are fighters! Beautiful little girls! Everyday is a blessing with them. We left the NICU 5 weeks after being born! 

1 comment:

Brady said...

Awe! They will love to read this one day. We "NICU mommies" will never forget our time standing next to our baby's incubators and the first time holding such a little body with wires and cords and breathing machines still connected to them. So proud of you, you did great mama! -M